Why it’s a failure
- Charges luxury prices for software that panic-brakes at silhouettes of mailboxes
- Marketed as “Full Self-Driving” but legally “Please keep your hands here or it’s your fault”
- “Beta” tag has celebrated more birthdays than most toddlers and still throws tantrums
- Loves playing chicken with highway exits, traffic cones, and the occasional parked fire truck
- Firmware updates arrive at 3 AM to lovingly reset all your settings and your trust
- Makes you the unwilling protagonist in every dash-cam compilation on YouTube
Quote we keep hearing
“It’s not a bug, it’s driver supervision.” — Every Tesla forum defender right before grabbing the wheel again
Bottom line
If you want AI in your car, buy a decent voice assistant. If you want to cosplay as a test pilot in a suburban cul-de-sac, pay the $12k and keep your lawyer on speed dial.